Dillon Francis and His Obscure Merchant Store

Dillon Francis has established himself as the EDM scene’s resident funnyman, according to a previous article of ours, and his merchandise store shows just how far he’ll go for a laugh.

The online store has the usual items that other artists sell: hats, shirts and hoodies. But when you scroll down further, the items get a little crazier. For example, did you know that for $40,000, Francis will become a vegan for a year…or for $300 he will prank call your mom in the middle of the night.

Dillon recently took to his Facebook page to post an album dedicated to one of his recent customers. John Biddle paid $100 for the item “Dillon Francis will bake you desserts.” And he got some very awesome-looking cookies.

Seems too good to be true…until the terms and fine print come in. According to the store’s website:

– Dillon is not required to make a video of any item.
– Dillon can take up to one year to fulfill the item.
– For any items that has Dillon creating a song, he is not obligated to publicly promote or premiere on his media outlets. He retains right to do that if he wants but does not have to.
– For items that are of the customer.. like Dillon doing somebody’s taxes or like putting together their Ikea bed.. we cannot guarantee that it will be done correctly.
– Any item that requires Dillon to physically be there, customer is responsible to cover any and all costs associated with making that happen.
– Every item is for entertainment purposes only and should not be relied on for any real use.

When you view the site, you can see which items are already sold out and laugh at how somebody actually paid Francis $2,000 to babysit his or her kid. All in all, this store really makes me wish he was around 9 years ago when I had my Bat-Mitzvah, because for $15,000 I could have book him to DJ it.

The full cookie gallery can be viewed here and the store can be viewed here.